Ahhh-L-I-I-I-V-V-V-V-V-V-E-E-E-E

Yes I am. Really, I’ve missed you too and unfortunately, I haven’t had a chance to come up for air and write a little ditty to let you know I am alive and well (sorta). If my week(s) had been anything close to ‘normal’, I likely would have at least left a note on the fridge door to say, “be back soon”, but instead, I just run out of the door with a trail of items falling out of my bag as I rushed to the car.

My sincerest apologies, and thank you for thinking of me.

I will post more soon. I promise.

- Daisy

Where’s the IT department?

As I write this, I’m now in a hotel room a few hours from my family with a brand new laptop that will quickly become my new best friend (in a technology kind of way). I’ve been spending time with this laptop the last few days asking it to do things and communicating with it in ways that it doesn’t always understand. Let’s get real here, I’m used to relying on an IT department to make it all work and instead, I’ve found myself trying to synchronize this with that, and make it all talk to each other between the laptop, blackberry, outlook and gmail.

One of the things I spent a whole lot of time doing was exporting and importing my contacts. I was trying to take it from one place, and putting it into another, and then synchronizing between the laptop and the blackberry. Sounds simple enough, but for me, it took a while. The first time, I exported over 700 contacts and nearly had a heart attack. 700? I’m positive there’s junk in that file. So, then I spent a lot of time cleaning up the files. I ended up with a good 300 contacts and was thrilled when I successfully exported from one, then imported it to another. Wow. Good clean fun, isn’t it? Okay, not really. I’m just happy with the results and that I didn’t throw anything at anyone or anything.

Please don’t ask me any specifics about “how to” since I doubt my process is repeatable. Plus, I will likely throw a shoe at you.

- Daisy

45 Life Lessons

I got this in my email recently and thought it was absolutely wonderful. I suppose you can say I’m in the 7%.
- Daisy

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Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me… It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone…
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ’In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

Its estimated 93% won’t forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title I’m in the 7%.

I wrote a wish list

I’m pretty good with my money and do not need to have instant gratification like some from the younger generation.  I typically pre-plan large purchases and was recently surprised when I kept thinking in my head that I had a few items I wanted to get, but didn’t feel I should.  It started bothering me because I kept forgetting what the items were, so I finally wrote them down:

laptop
gps
speakers for tv (via air miles)
garage door opener

The laptop I’ve been wanting for quite a while – I spend so much time outside watching the kids, it would be better use of my time if I could watch and blog, I mean, do meaningful work, at the same time.

The GPS I’ve been wanting for even longer. You know how I am spatially challenged and any help I can get is appreciated. Plus, the more I drive to new and different places, the more I need this.

The speakers will be purchased through air miles meaning we’ll simply redeem some points for them. I’ve always enjoyed getting products from air miles including blender, dvd player, alarm clock, etc. In fact, we’ve gotten quite a few items from air miles over the years – I suppose it is particularly fun because it feels a bit like Christmas and since it is ‘free’ – sorta.

The garage door opener is again, something I’ve been waiting for a while for. Yes, call me lazy. I’ve done the garage door opener, and I’ve done the manual door opener, and I’m afraid I’m just way too lazy to climb out of my car. These days, I haven’t even parked the car in the garage due to said laziness.

I think it’s about time to cross off some things off the wishlist.

Eeenie, meenie, miney, mo
Laptop and GPS, we go
Airmiles will again be low
Garage thing will be a no

- Daisy thinks this seems so very fluffy, yet it’s what the mind is thinking of

What’s on my telly

You know I don’t watch TV.  Instead, I watch what people put into my hands and most recently, I was thrilled to get hooked on the show Life with Damian Lewis playing Charlie Crews.  So hooked in fact, that I watched 3 or 4 episodes on Saturday and another 3 or 4 on Sunday into the wee hours of the night.  To begin with, I loved Damian Lewis as Winters in Band of Brothers (yet another fabulous find) so naturally when I was told he was the main character in this show, I was intrigued.

The show follows Charlie Crews, a former cop who was convicted of murder and served 12 years in prison.  As a former police officer in prison, he certainly became a target and had a particularly rough dozen years of his life.  After he already spent what seemed a lifetime in jail, DNA evidence exonerates him from the crime and he’s given a lucrative settlement worth 50 million dollars.  He decides to return to his former line of work and is now a detective with stories revolving around the crime scenes he investigates as well as his own unsolved mystery of who actually committed the horrible murders.

It’s smart, intelligent television that blows the socks off the usual shows.  So of course, it doesn’t surprise me that the show was cancelled after season 2.  What is it about smart shows never lasting?  I asked my hubby why he supposes these great shows never get the running they deserve and he told me that people don’t want to think when they watch TV.  They want shows to with simple serial plotlines leaving viewers satiated the same way fast food feeds ones hunger.

I don’t buy that.

Do you know of great shows that don’t get the viewership they deserve?  Why do you suppose that is?  Why do some of the sugary-sweet shows with no nutritional value get the following and coveted advertising dollars?  How do we ensure the smart shows get watched?

- Daisy

Can’t decide?

Decisions, decisions.  I’m all for democratic decisions, but sometimes it gets a little ridiculous when perfectly normal, smart people are fearful of making decisions on behalf of the “people” they represent. 

For those who are unfamiliar with school councils, they are made up of volunteer parents along with some teachers, principals, etc.  Any parent of a child in that school can join in on the meetings, and be a part of their child’s school council. 

As a parent volunteer of a school council, I believe I represent the other parents.  And if my opinion does not happen to adequately represent the others, then I’m afraid that’s actually not my problem.  If other parents wanted to give their opinion, then by all means, they should be coming to the meetings.  I believe all the members of school council are empowered to make decisions on behalf of the other parents.

So it was frustrating when I went to our latest meeting and found out they couldn’t make a decision on two movies for movie night.  Its really simple.  A movie night was planned as a fundraiser and about 6 – 8 movies were tossed out to the group.  Someone volunteered to do up the flyer once a decision was made on the movies.  The group agreed in April to go ahead for a date in early June.  When the group met in late May, someone mentioned that the flyer has not been made or sent out and that the date is no longer feasible.  Apparently, the reason the flyer was not done because a decision was never made about the movies.

I missed that April meeting, and when I heard this, I couldn’t believe my ears.  Is the school council that fearful of making decisions?  Oh, I know what their thoughts were… “What if the other parents don’t approve of the movie?  What if the kids don’t like the movies?  What if the parents aren’t interested and don’t bring their kids?  What if this is a flop?”

Tough.  Whatever.  Move on.  Get real and realize that all the movies suggested were excellent choices and that the best part of movie night isn’t necessarily the movie, but the experience of watching something at school with a whole bunch of your friends at school.  It’s something different and cool.

I blurted out before I had a chance to stop myself, ”Why don’t we agree to the movies right now, get the flyer ready and out to parents in two days and we can delay movie night by one week?”  Seriously.  This isn’t rocket science, our kids could have figured this out.

It boggles my mind when fear stops people from making decisions.  Next time we wonder why big business projects at work are delayed and missing critical timelines, it’s possible someone didn’t feel empowered to make a decision about which movie to see.

- Daisy

P.S. I’ve seen delayed projects due to indecisiveness about the most insignificant items.

Darling Description

Robert Brault has a knack for distilling ideas into short phrases.  We were both surprised that my recent post about transitions coincided with his post about finding opportunity.  When I commented about having a personal brand that is true in any form of communication, I was pleasantly surprised that he could so easily distill me into such a darling description.  He said I am “a lady who can be very “unladylike” in delightfully unexpected ways.”

Well rb, I just don’t know what to say.  When you have time, you’ll have to teach me this art of using 5 words instead of 50. 

- Daisy

In transition and feeling the pressure?

I personally know a lot of people in transition and what I’ve heard from too many of them is that they are feeling the pressure from their spouses and family to “Get a job, any job!” and I cringe each time I hear that.  When employed, we spend so much of our waking moments in our jobs, and if we’ve got the wrong job, it grates on us each and every day.  I’d venture to say that the stress of the wrong role shortens our lives!

Do you remember the person who

• curses the daily long commute every day and starts the day in a miserable mood? 
• hates his/her boss?
• despises the daily grind of the work they do?
• snaps at colleagues, customers, or worse?

I can see you nodding.  You’ve been there, or know people who have done that, and you already have a taste for what it feels like to be miserable Monday to Friday.  If you happen to be the spouse or loved one of someone in transition, this is likely an extremely fragile time for their ego and confidence.  They already feel the pressure from themselves and the last thing needed is the pressure from you to ‘take anything’.

Everyone has their own tipping point from a financial and emotional standpoint, however, I’d suggest that clear communications, support and understanding from the loved ones is what is of vital importance during this time.

For all the spouses and partners who are putting the pressure on – let it go just a little please.  What they really need is your support, and not your pressure.  For those who are looking, there is tons of support out there from others who are also looking.  It’s a matter of finding the right group(s) for you.  A little group therapy where you rail at the gods and say “$@#%!%?” doesn’t hurt when you’re with like-minded professsionals who support each others efforts.

Good luck, and don’t be so hard on yourself or others.

- Daisy

P.S. Instead of saying to someone, “Have you found a job yet?”, ask them “What have you been up to lately?”

What makes me smile

I’ve been extremely busy for the last 5 days and been part of a number of different support groups who have come together as a close knit community.  It struck me upside the head that I am so lucky to be able to rely on these multiple, independent and diversified groups which help define, and support the different sides of who I am.

To start, I spent 72 long hours in training for the newest fitness classes that will begin arriving in my area later this year.  Along with my fellow instructors from all over the province, we came together, smiled, laughed and learned in a decidedly relaxed and supportive environment.  Never have I taught a class with so many smiles, laughter, and words of encouragement and support than this past weekend.

I returned to the “best neighbourhood ever” and enjoyed the company of neighbours and friends as we spent extraordinary amounts of time hanging out with our children.  Again, laughing, smiling and not quite crying about the antics of our children, we commiserated about the growing pains we were each saddled with and realized we were all in the same parenting boat.  I reconnected with someone from Facebook and was thrilled she found me and invited her to join our neighbourhood for an inpromptu get-together on any nice weather day.  When you’ve got something great, you’ve got to share it with others, right?

I volunteered for a role that helps kids stay in school by sharing experiences related to careers, money, and the economics of real life lessons and were surrounded by other like-minded professionals also committed to giving back to the community.

I missed a networking group meeting, however, got the email outlying the discussions and was blown away by the honesty, trust, openness and clear support that the group shared with each other.  I feel so blessed to be a part of this, even though I wasn’t there.

So as I sit and type this, I realize yet again, that my life is so rich with warmth, community and support for, quite plainly, me.  I wish someone told me sooner the jewels that can be found in these communities as I can not imagine life without them.

- Daisy

Daisy needs her space

We know that everyone has their invisible personal space, right?  You know, the space surrounding us that we innately claim as “ours”.  It’s the space where when someone starts getting a little too close, we start backing away to increase that gap, so that once again, we sigh in relief that we still have our space.  What defines how much space is enough for the individual is not only culturally defined, it’s also up to the individual.  We all know people who ALWAYS prefer to be closer, and others who ALWAYS stand further.

I can only say that my space needs are average.  Afterall, who would ever honestly claim that I’m a Space Hog “why are you running away?”, or I’m a Distant Diva, “don’t get within 10 feet of me”.  Let’s just say for arguments’ sake I am average, whatever that may be.  So, when someone with average needs for space gets invaded over and over again, without extenuating circumstances (ie, I was not in a crowded elevator), what do you do?

Imagine the sweet little great granny in line behind you at the grocery store.  Imagine yours truly holding on to way too many items while waiting patiently for the cashier to ring everyone through.  Now, imagine what felt like her breathing on my neck if she were tall enough.  “Oh gosh”, I think, “please back off sweetie, because you’re so invading my space.”  I don’t know who I was praying to, but the discomfort I felt made the grocery line turn into a closed closet with way too many strange bodies nearby.

Here’s the strange thing – I am not claustrophobic.  Yet, for what seemed like hours, I felt what must have been the strangest anxiety I’ve ever felt in a grocery line.

It only got worse.  I felt a bump on my arm – you know, the one carrying way too many items.  And then another.  Then, I immediately thought she was trying to steal something from my purse (except my purse was on my other arm).  “Seriously, what’s up with you?”, I must have glared.  And I felt horrible for doing that because, my goodness, she’s a sweet little great granny.  However, my innate reactions could not be controlled.  I got bumped so many times, I’m sure I’ve got bruises to show for it.  At one point, I was almost tempted to drop my items on her toes which were also way too close for comfort to remind her to back off.

And it gets worse.  After I’ve placed the food on the belt and she’s bruised me a few more times, she reaches in front of me, right through my personal space.  She reached for the crazy stick which identifies where my food stops and hers begins, and in that moment, I could have had a third arm.  This act alarmed me so much I actually jumped and said something.  I wanted to scream, “STOP TOUCHING ME LADY!”, but instead said, “It’s OKAY!” and mumbled something else about there being plenty of time.  What I really wanted to do was take the stick and start beating little great granny’s arm away as I all of a sudden morphed into Diva Daisy needing a lot of space.

Breathe, Daisy, breathe.  It’ll all be okay in a few more minutes.

She continued to invade my space one last time as I tried to pay for my groceries and I finally ran out of there into the bright, sunny day.  The anxiety quickly dissipated as I walked to my car and realized her arm wasn’t still attached to me.

Tell me, what would you do if there is a next time?

- Daisy