Who are you trying to impress?

Who are you trying to be?  Who are you trying to impress?  Who’s approval are you trying to get?

When we focus effort on the things we can not control (for instance, other people’s approval of us), then we may as well rail against the weather and wish, hope, pray and do the weather dance for sunny 25 degree weather.  Every day.  Everyone knows we can’t control the weather, so why do we think we can control others?

I spent much wasted time wishing others would approve of me and my efforts.  In the end, it distilled down to the simple idea that I just wanted to be accepted and loved.  In order to accomplish this feat, I used to do things that I thought others wanted me to do.  But at the end, I could never BE whoever any of them wanted me to be.  Afterall, how can you be so many things to so many different people?  Or, how do you decide who you should be today?  While focused on others, it felt like I had failed in getting approval, acceptance, and love, and that is such a horribly tragic feeling to have.

Yet, the answer was so simple.  I stopped thinking about what I thought others wanted me to do.  I stopped thinking that I couldn’t do certain things because of what others thought.  I stopped living someone else’s life and began living mine.  I became more true to me and learned to love the skin I’m in.  I learned how to accept and love me, for all my strengths and weaknesses, just the way I was.  Magically, I found others who also accepted, approved and loved me too.

Do you love yourself?  Are you being true to yourself?  Or are you still trying to change the weather?

- Daisy

Checking for an alien pod

That’s what my husband said he was going to do.  This was in response to my questions to him this morning, “Would you like a breakfast sandwich this morning?” and “While you’re at the fridge, can you get me a glass of milk?”.  He thought someone had replaced his wife with this strange one who offered to prepare food and drink milk.

I made 2 breakfast sandwiches (toasted bagel with egg plus all kinds of veggie goodies) and a banana sandwich cut into an X.  No, I didn’t miss the “peanut butter and” in the description of the sandwich - that’s what the little one wanted.  He wasn’t ready to commit to a breakfast sandwich, but he tried part of Daddy’s breakfast sandwich and said, “hey I want one of those too!”.  Too late buddy, you wanted banana so eat it and forever hold your peace.

Tonight, the little one wanted a breakfast sandwich for dinner.  Oh my.  He remembered from the morning and he really liked it!  Instead, I made yet another concoction (I’ll write more about that another time).  He tells me, “yummmmy, I really like this!  Can I have more of those round things?” and I realize I can be a real cool mom once in a while!

I guess this is my pat on the back to say, great job on doing what you don’t normally do, and realizing it can also be very rewarding and fun too.

What are you going to do next?

- Daisy

The Gremlins chatter

I heard the other day that the Gremlins get chattier and louder, the closer you get to your core.  The nearer you are to who your core strives to be, the naysaying Gremlins who sit upon your shoulders get louder.  Whenever we begin to consider major changes, or taking those risks, it’s those Gremlins who start acting up.  They are sometimes the things that stop us from action.

If that is true, then I must be on the right track.  My Gremlins are throwing all kinds of things at me, and I’m trying to decipher which ones are road blocks, and which ones are just trash.

I love taking out the abstract trash.  It’s such a cleansing feeling.

- Daisy

Disconnected

I promised myself that I would never write one of those apologies for not writing in a while.  Instead, I’ll write about my experiences of not writing.  I’ve been physically and mentally so busy that I have been rarely connected to a computer.  I’ve been on the road, on the subway, out and about, without a blackberry, without email, and without a phone.  Some days, it feels as though I took out the internet IV, and I’m really not sure what do without it.  I’ve lost the ability to communicate - the ability to email or call Anyone.  Anywhere.  Anytime.  Many conversations go like this, Them:  “Why don’t you call when you get there”, Me: “Remember, I don’t have a phone.  Why don’t we meet at X place at Y time?”; Them:  “Huh……. Oh.  Okay.” as they try to remember how things used to be done before cell phones.

Being unconnected is good.  Isn’t it?  Afterall, I used to avoid being ‘found’ like the plague.  I wanted to control access to my time and only turned on my cell phone when I was making an outgoing call - no one could actually reach me for the longest time!  That rule changed though and became, anyone could reach me anytime between the hours of 8am to 9pm.  It even included silly calls Saturday morning regarding a customer who’s house was flooding.  If your house is flooding, you should get out and call the insurance company.  Or someone who cares.  Oops, inside voice.  Being unconnected is good.  Isn’t it? 

I’m actually not sure about that answer.  I don’t know if it is a good thing or bad thing for me.  Too much of anything, can not be good, and having the technology and capability, while ensuring we don’t abuse it, is sometimes difficult to balance.

In the meantime, I’ve found myself quite disconnected and I have not made a decision on phone or email.  I’m not sure that’s what I really need so, for now, I choose to stay disconnected.  I’ll try to make sure I spend a bit more time on the computer again and make every second count.  Oh, and I’ll write while I’m connected!

- Daisy

Happy Canada Day!

July 1st will always be remembered a little differently than other holidays.  It is the one I remember being at the hospital watching the fireworks from my hospital room while holding that tiny little baby only a few days old.  I knew then as I know now that he was going to change my life and there was certainly something extra special to celebrate.

Happy Birthday Baby.  Happy Birthday Canada.

- Daisy

Molly Maid and Martha Stewart, oh my

I proclaimed today that in the last few weeks, I have all of a sudden become a little bit of Molly Maid and Martha Stewart rolled into one.  Hallelujah!  For anyone who knows me, you’ll know that I’m on the other end of the Molly/Martha spectrum - it is not who I am normally.  However, life changes, and sometimes, the change allows you to try things on for size.

The truth is, I’ve let my Molly and Martha qualities and skills slide dramatically in the last few years as I’ve been focusing on other things.  With the new-found time on my hands, I’ve found that what has all of a sudden become very high on my priority list is getting the house in order.  Oh yes.  Cleaning up a bit.  Quite a bit.  Oh yes.  Painting too.  Doors, trim, and even painting, like art or what would you call that?  And where does Martha come in?  Well, wait until you get a look at the personalized loot bags I came up with!

Okay, Martha is probably giving you an exaggerated view of the loot bag - it doesn’t actually look THAT pretty.  However, I would venture to say it has a ton of creativity and personality; even Michael had a grand time helping me put them all together.  It involved quite a lot of ‘arts and crafts’ and the final product is very personal and personalized.  In the words of Michael, “that’s so COOOOOL, do you know what would make it even COOOOLER?” as he’d offer additional ideas on things to do and create.

I am thrilled I took the time to 1) get creative, 2) get personal, 3) get personalized - I think the folks will enjoy the unique loot bags (which by the way, aren’t even bags).

- Daisy

P.S.  Before you think, ‘hey cool painting done by the kid’, this one was done by me using kid’s paint on kid’s easel, in sunlight on my driveway, on, no not canvas, but newsprint.  It started as abstract, and then began to look like an owl, so I guess it’s an owl with one angry eye as Michael says.  Enjoy!

Spam Help?

Congrats Daisy.  You’ve got 275 spam messages.  Someone help me stop the insanity?!!

- Daisy

Found Time

You know how everyone wonders how they will find the time to do the things on their to-do list?  Last week, my to-do list included a whole bunch of things that needed to be done over the next few weeks - find daycare, get video done, learn new choreography, practice, practice, practice, make invites for little guy’s birthday party, buy items for loot bags, finish painting basement doors and trim, organize toys.  All that, and still get over scratchy, itchy throat.  I tell you, the list didn’t seem to stop, and I could not quite figure out how I would find the time to get it all done over the next 2 weeks.

Somehow, some way, things always seem to work out, don’t they?  Time magically appeared and showed me a way.  I believe in destiny and destiny seems to be working well with me on this journey of fulfillment and happiness.

It’s another beautiful day turned into night.

- Daisy

Home, Sweet Home

We had a visitor today celebrating our new dryer amongst other things and while savouring a glass of wine, he proclaimed that he liked our current family room better than the family room in our previous house because it was bigger.  I just as quickly proclaimed that I liked this house better because it felt like Home.

What makes a home is not the size, possessions, or lot.  Although certain things can make you enjoy your home more, what really makes a home is how it makes you feel.  I love where we live because the atmosphere is one that appeals to me.  From the incredible neighbours to the Kindergarten teacher from Heaven, I can not help but count my blessings.

Same goes with what makes a person happy.  Forget possessions like homes, cottages, cars, and other material things.  It is all about how you feel.  Be proud of who you are and what you’ve done - happiness is about your perceptions and attitudes.  So simply “be”.

Feel good in your skin.  Life is good.  Drink it up and have a drink on me tonight.  Cheers.

P.S. If you want to join me with that glass, listen to Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Sweet Home Alabama”

- Daisy

Why I like guys

No, it’s not what you think.

I happened to be wandering and chatting with people, and realized that I preferred joining the guy’s conversations over the women’s.  It’s not necessarily about the subject matter, (though sometimes it is), but rather, the approach to the conversation - they are easier-going.  Guys can have a physical fight with someone, and then be done with it and have a normal conversation and a beer.  Gals, well, they just hold a grudge.  Forever.  Until hell freezes over.  And then becomes fiery again.

Good heavens.  What’s the argument about, and from how many years ago?  Get over it and get on with your life.  The guys have!  They don’t even remember it!  Just how much energy is being used to hold a grudge?  How much of your life is lost by staying mad at someone for something they said or did 5 years ago?  Was it really that important?

Guys don’t get offended and they just stand around drinking beer and shooting the - you know.  I like that.  We debate, we discuss, we review, we disagree, we hold no hard feelings and move on.  Some ladies take things so personally and then you begin to worry and wonder if you should say certain things.

Wow.  That sounds like too much effort sometimes so I choose to talk to the guys.  I don’t have to worry or wonder what I can or cannot say because even if they disagree, I know they’ll still drink beer with me after the fight.

Take some tips from the guys and just move on.  Some things aren’t worth it!

- Daisy