Let’s renew our vows

We are gathered here today to witness the coming together of Daisy and AnswerStartsWithYou, whose hearts and spirits are entwined as one. They now desire to profess before all the world their intention to walk the road of life together.

Do you Daisy, knowing this spirit’s love for you and returning it, realizing its strengths and learning from them, recognizing its weaknesses and helping it to overcome them, take AnswerStartsWithYou to be your voice, thoughts and soul on the internet?

I do.

Do you AnswerStartsWithYou knowing this woman’s love brings life to you, and realizing her strengths and learning from them, recognizing her weaknesses and helping her to overcome them, take Daisy to be your partner in crime on the internet?

I do.

And now, I now pronounce you Funny and Funnier. You may kiss the bride.

- Daisy says thank you for all the well wishers. We couldn’t be happier!

Privacy and Posts

I don’t know how you write, but here’s the schtick with me. If I’ve got a topic/thoughts/idea in my head, I usually like to just write it quickly and post it. The length of time from initial thought, to published post is quite short, and at certain times, the posts come fast and furious as I feel the need to get those thoughts jotted down quickly while they are still fresh in my mind.

Then, there’s times when there’s not much tickling my brain. It’s obvious as you won’t find any new posts, however that is actually rare.

Then, there’s times when I’ve got multiple posts in my brain, but I haven’t had a chance to write them down, and I suppose they aren’t so compelling that I feel the need to get them down right away. During those busy times, if the topic/idea just isn’t amazing, then I may altogether lose the post from the brain, and it just won’t get written. Again, you’ll see the result as no new posts. This happens a bit.

Lastly, there’s times when I’ve got a post/idea in my head, and I just can’t figure out how to write it down in a way that’s appropriate for this space. Call me a private person, call me old-fashioned – there are posts that I want to write “freely” that I don’t feel necessarily comfortable doing. It is me tying my hands behind my back, that prevents me from using the keyboard to get those thoughts down. I feel the need to be ‘appropriate’; where there are no swear words, or content inappropriate for children should any happen to come around. My inability to write a post about something that’s absolutely tickling my head also prevents me from writing any other posts. How strange is that? So, another time when you’ll find this space devoid of newness is when I’m stuck contemplating how to write a certain post.

This brings me to my latest solution that I’m not entirely happy about, but, it’ll have to do. Password protected posts exist for various reasons. The lastest one, “Naive, I am” is a post that prevented any other posts from being written because I just couldn’t figure out how to write it without swearing. I’m kidding of course – there’s no swearing. It’s actually quite light-hearted a post about a topic that’s serious. I’m hoping with this, I’ll take the handcuffs off, and feel able to write freely about posts, and prevent the death of would-be posts/ideas.

If you ever want the password to any password-protected posts, simply email me and ask – the worst that could happen is I could say no. I’d never say no to you though. No, not you.

I’ve included a new page about passwords.

And on another note. How do *YOU* write? Do you ever have times where an idea/thought stops you from writing anything at all?

- Daisy

Protected: Naive, I am

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Another cancelled show

I must be the queen of watching cancelled sci-fi shows. Some of you know I rarely watch television, and the only way I seem to watch it is when someone lends me a DVD of a series. So, in actual fact, the only TV I watch is based on referrals of a show that someone has spent good hard cash on purchasing. I have had a lot of luck watching this way – in fact, it’s been at 100%. Every single DVD someone has lent to me, has been something I have loved.

The latest DVD I just finished watching was Terminator, the Sarah Connor Chronicles. They lent me Season 1 a while back and I enjoyed that, but only recently got Season 2. Season 2 has 6 DVD’s in total, and I watched those 6 DVD’s over 5 days. I watched disk 1 one day, disk 2 the next day. Disk 3 a few weeks later. Disk 4 this past Saturday, and Disk 5 and 6 this past Sunday. Each disk was watched in its entirety in one sitting. Yes, I did pause it to use the loo when I needed to, I’m not that bad.

My knuckles must have gone white in the last few disks; I just couldn’t peel myself away, it was that good. The worst part of the entire experience was knowing that there was no more once I finished those disks. I wonder if there’s any chance the writers (or other great writers) could continue to write for the series and just tell me where it goes! Please, oh please?!!

Why, oh why can’t the masses watch really well written smart shows and keep them going?!! Sigh. Perhaps someone should lend me a series that went on for longer than 2 seasons and then I won’t feel so disappointed that a perfectly amazing storyline got cut off before its time.

- Daisy

I quit coffee – part 2

I must confess I am doing pretty well compared to last week’s disaster. I think I might have had one on Sunday and perhaps another on Monday as well but avoided it altogether on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I had a small one today.

Earlier in the week, I was asked innocently: "had your coffee yet?" – oh gosh – not a good question to ask someone givng up the stuff. In retrospect, I laugh because those who have worked with me on a regular basis know just how ingrained it is to my routine. I even used it as an example one time when I was training call centre reps about selling products. I explained to them how you can talk about the benefits of coffee and be a commodity, or you can take it further. Coffee for me is a warming experience where I take time to smell, taste and experience an important moment. It essentially helps me "deal" with the stuff that hits the fan. They laughed, but more importantly, they understood as I explained to them how to sell my product as an experience and not so much as a commodity.

I feel successful so far in my coffee quitting. Even though I still drink it here and there, I am not living my waking hours thinking about getting a cup. It’s leaving my system and I am once again getting back into control – thank goodness.

- Daisy
PS – I wrote this on crackberry, sent to special email address and voila, it posts magically.
PPS – Oops, it didn’t post magically. Technological glitch would be my guess. I still emailed it though!

My walking adventure

I went to see Jenn Grant, a musician with an incredible voice, on Thursday night. I invited a good friend of mine to join me for an evening of dinner and music so we could catch up.

My adventure started with a painless drive to the subway, where I hopped on a train and went downtown to Toronto’s Eaton Centre. I wandered leisurely up and down Eaton’s Centre a couple of times (approx. 1Km) until I got a call from my friend indicating he had arrived at the mall. We met up and then walked around looking for a “local restaurant” to try (approx. .8Km). As we were walking, I exclaimed that I couldn’t believe I was dressed like a bum and didn’t have the decency to wear something a little nicer. His excuse for looking like a bum was that as a teacher, he had art class that day and didn’t want to risk arts and crafts on any good clothes. I didn’t have an excuse. We both just laughed and moved along. We wandered here and there crossing University Avenue, until we happened upon an Indian restaurant. As we looked at the menu posted outside with our mouths watering, a gentleman surprised us by opening the door and welcoming us in. Oh, what a welcome change from some of the other hoity-toity establishments we had poked our noses into. Thank goodness we walked a bit further for this special find!

Dinner was incredibly good. Oh my, I love Indian food! When the food arrived, I said, “I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to go silent for a few minutes at least, okay?” It was REALLY good. Enough said.

With dinner over, we began walking to Massey Hall at a leisurely pace arriving just before 8pm (approx 1Km). When we handed our tickets to the front, we heard the most incredible words, “I’m sorry, but you’re at the wrong place.” Sudden panic. “WHAAAAT?” Me bad. I can’t read. Or more accurately, I didn’t read the tickets! They said “Massey Hall presents” and in seemingly fineprint, the real venue came into sight – CBC building at Front Street! As we turned to walk away, the gentleman says “I’m sorry, good luck getting there!” as we all realized the issue – the CBC building is 2 Km’s away and we’re minutes from the start of the concert.

Away we went. Thank goodness it was a cool night, and boy, did that brisk walk really make our bodies feel better after eating that huge meal. We mostly walked, running across lights here and there and arrived late. Thank goodness she had an opening act.

What can I say? My feet were absolutely killing me by the time we got there. Others have asked me, “what kind of shoes were you wearing”, and my response has been, “no women’s shoes are meant for walking that distance at that pace without hurting, except for running shoes or walking shoes”. Obviously most guys have never walked a few kilometres in women’s shoes. Thank goodness I dressed like a bum that night and wore shoes that were not pointy, with big heels, or strappy.

I eased into my seat, and was relieved to be off my feet. The concert was extremely enjoyable and we both began comparing her to the likes of Sarah McLachlan, Sinead O’Connor, Cranberries, Tori Amos and others, but different.

We then walked back to Union Station (approx .6Km) to hop on the subway and head back home.

Altogether, it looks like I wandered approx. 5.4Km in the wrong shoes. I thought the toes on my left foot were going to fall off and they are only now starting to feel normal again. Next time, I’ll use that incredible skill I learned decades ago – read the tickets.

- Daisy

Below is an interview interspersed with some live music. I particularly love the violin bits that are throughout many of her songs.

Incredible voice

I saw Jenn Grant last night. She sounds better live, than on her CD’s which seems impossible, but true. More to come about her and my adventures last night. For now, take a listen – Daisy

I quit coffee

I quit coffee on Monday, November 23rd, 2009. I didn’t have a single drop. I was offered coffee and I turned it down each time. I saw coffee pots everywhere I went all seemingly begging me to take a sip. I mentally congratulated myself Monday night when I got through without one.

On Tuesday, I went to meet someone at a coffee shop. She was delayed and it was cold out. I could not sit in a coffee shop and not have a coffee? Could I? As I was paying for my coffee, she arrived and I blurted out that I was trying to quit coffee to which she replied, “So you ordered tea?”. Why didn’t I think of that? We chuckled and laughed about my coffee addiction, and moved on.

Tuesday afternoon, I took my car into the shop and was offered a latte. A latte is not a coffee, is it? And I didn’t even have to pay for this one. “Save me”, I thought, but no one listened including me. Instead, I happily accepted and savoured the drink as if it would be the last one.

Wednesday, I returned to the shop for another drink. Yes, I’m kidding, however, no I’m not. I did return to the shop, and I did have another latte.

Today is Thursday and as I type this, I’m sipping my coffee. Whatever happened to quitting? Tonight, I’m going to a concert with a friend, and I’m sure over dinner, I’ll be offered, you guessed it, a coffee.

Perhaps this week was not meant to be the week I quit coffee.

What I have learned though is that I have made associations with coffee in pretty much every social or professional setting. It has become very much ingrained in me, and I liken the experience to that of a smoker. In certain environments, it just seems natural for a smoker to light up. For me, it just seems natural to have a coffee pretty much any and all times of the day and unlike smoking or drinking, no one frowns on me when I endulge in my addiction. I don’t have to hide the fact that I’m drinking in my car or walking into a coffee shop. No one heckles me, no one discourages me. Instead, the friendly faces are always ready to ask me how I’d like my coffee – “hot, please” I think, though I answer “with two creams”.

In order to be successful, I know there are some little (and big) steps I need to take to remove myself out of the “usual” settings where I’m most likely to endulge, and certainly some of them are more difficult than others. I have to consciously sever or change those associations because a habit is difficult to break.

Before you think I inject the beans directly, just know that I don’t actually drink a lot of coffee compared to others – I usually drink one per day, some days maybe 2, and on the rare occasion 3. Although my consumption is not ridiculous, it is at a rate that my body is unhappy with which is what prompted my attempt to quit. Sadly, this is not the first time I’ve tried quitting (slowing down) coffee. Happily, I’ve been successful at this before. Coffee is an endulgence I enjoy, however, there is a limited amount I can have before it becomes a liability. I just need to get it back to a level that works for me.

Tomorrow is Friday. I’m quitting coffee on Friday, November 27, 2009.

- Daisy

The Stress Test

You may be familiar with the stress test for your heart. You get hooked up to machines that measure your important vitals and you get a baseline of information. You start walking/running and it captures more data. The experts look at the data and are able to get invaluable information about your heart to help determine next steps.

What if you were able to develop a stress test for other important parts of your life besides your heart? Take the premise of putting an individual under real-world stress, see their actions and reactions gathering invaluable information and data in a semi-controlled lab to help you make sound decisions for the future.

Now, what if the stress test were about putting a love-interest onto a virtual treadmill that leads them into an emotional situation to determine their tolerances for stress and how they would react to it?

We know about the honeymoon stage and don’t we all wish we could stay there forever? Aren’t there some things we wish we knew about someone but don’t seem to really know until we’ve invested significant amounts of time? Wouldn’t it be good to know if your potential partner gets extremely angry, throws a fit and has uncontrollable rage under stress? Or if they agree with you verbally, but then find passive ways to thwart the agreed upon next steps?

They say that many couples fight about money – is there a way that you could artificially simulate a situation involving money between a couple that is real enough for them that would give insights into how the other really thinks and acts around money? Then, the stress test happens, and you add a stimulus (a stressor like a treadmill) and watch to see how the two act and react to each other and their actions.

Of course, you can and should communicate with each other about your thoughts about the subject, however, there’s nothing like a real world simulation that gives everyone the a-ha’s to look beyond what someone says their beliefs are to what they actually do. They say action speak louder than words, and if it works for the physical heart, would it work for the emotional one too?

The idea of a stress test for relationships was an interesting discussion I had with someone and the more I think about it, the more I believe developing some sort of ’stress test’ might be a great way to get to know each other when you’re wondering if this is a good long-term relationship or not. And if the other person thinks the idea of a stress test is horrid while you want to do it, how do you solve that conflict? Why, that in itself is like a stress-test, isn’t it?

- Daisy

Draft #4

This is the 4th time I’ve tried writing a post today. It’s a tough subject for me, however I feel compelled to write it.

When I was in Grade 7 and Grade 8, a teacher changed my perceptions. She taught me something about myself that was so new to me, I really didn’t understand. It was the first time in the public school system that I finally felt like I could do something well. No, I didn’t struggle in school – from a school standpoint, I always did okay to well, and was one of those kids who didn’t need attention – I didn’t have academic problems, nor behavioural issues, so teachers just ignored me. I was used to that. My goal was to not be noticed – I performed well as a wallflower.

So, when this teacher began to tell me and show me that she believed in me, I was floored. If it’s possible, for the first time, I think I finally felt acceptance and love – that she appreciated all my capabilities, from my strengths to my weaknesses. She praised me when I did well, and showed me how to improve. Everytime she spoke, it could only be explained as warm and accepting of my efforts, skills, and growth. She eased me away from wallflower profile I was so comfortable with, slowly put me into the spotlight and told me I could.

One day in Grade 8, someone important to me made me cry. They told me I wasn’t good enough. My teacher took the time and made me take a moment in private. I don’t remember exactly what she said to me, but the general summary of it was that sometimes, people just don’t understand who we are, or just how special we are. All I really remembered was the thought and idea that my teacher understood me, knew me and still liked me, just the way I was. She went further to say that other peoples’ opinions are not nearly as important as what you believe about yourself. She told me that in her professional opinion, I had very strong skills and that I had to believe in myself first and foremost.

All my life, I had no confidence, really didn’t think I was worth much, and generally thought I wasn’t good enough. She was the first who showed me otherwise, and when I doubted, she again showed me.

It has taken me a very long time to gain confidence and believe in myself. It’s been an uphill battle, and with each step, I’m so thrilled and happy that I had help along the way from key people who have believed in me and pushed me further. Many do not recognize that little Grade 8 girl in me now and though I can have my moments of self-doubt, I am so grateful to be surrounded by so many who believe in me, and accept me, just the way I am.

- Daisy