Posted by: Daisy | November 1, 2007

Is your gut right or wrong?

My general feeling when meeting people tends to be overwhelmingly either 1) I like them, or 2) I’m neutral towards them. A very small number ends up being 3) My tail is twitching and there’s something about them that doesn’t jive with me. Sometimes, they get moved from one bucket to another, but rarely, (if ever?) would anyone go from 1 to 3 or vice versa. And typically, people who start in the 3rd bucket, usually never move out of it.

I met someone – we’ll call him Max. He fell immediately into the 3rd bucket, and I couldn’t place exactly what he said or did that made my tail twitch. I CONSCIOUSLY decided that under the circumstances we were in, that I would make an extra effort to move him into the 2nd bucket. Perhaps I had an inaccurate perception of him. Perhaps I was judging a book too much by it’s cover (sleazy). Perhaps there was a negative stereotype that made me jump to conclusions; whatever the reasoning, I set aside my gut feeling.

Nope. My gut was right. In the past 12 months, I’ve gotten more details and a clearer understanding of the qualities and specifics of Max that support my initial judgement. Something subconscious and in my brain was able to process countless details and come up with a judgement (3rd bucket – he’s not to be trusted) that my conscious side could not piece together. Since then, each and every one of my trusted allies and friends agree and make the same conclusion. And what is the learning here? Sometimes, you need to go with your gut. You do not always have to ‘explain it’. I should have trusted my instincts, and although I do not regret giving him a chance, I should not nearly have been as patient and understanding as I have been all these months. Next time, I think I need to provide a time-limit for promotions from the 3rd bucket to the 2nd bucket.

So – is my gut right or wrong? It depends (on the situation) and it really doesn’t matter one way or another. We just need to have the confidence to trust and believe in ourselves to the best of our ability and know at the end of the day, it’s okay to be right or wrong.


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