Posted by: Daisy | May 15, 2008

Two So-Called-Truths – Part 2

Remember Part 1 where I wrote about two hard and fast rules that I used to believe about myself:

  1. I can’t do math.
  2. I am not a people person.

It’s time to tackle the more difficult second one.  I’m very blunt.  Notice my sentences at times are very short?  I’m also very short – in stature and when annoyed.  You can almost predict my time-to-angry-outburst, based on the length of my sentences. 

I am blunt because at times, I don’t have the patience for niceties.  I tell it like it is.  Period.  If other people can’t handle that, then I go my merry way and say, ‘oh well’ while muttering obscenities under my breath.  (Okay, that part isn’t true, but I’d like to do that.  I think I would feel better if I did.)  I am an impatient person, and once everyone is in agreement about the facts, and the plan of action, I expect everyone to chop chop.  Of course, I have learned that is not the case.

I realized that some people got upset with me because they felt I was too fast.  My expectations were too high.  They weren’t ready to be dragged kicking and screaming even if they agreed to the course of action.  They needed time to adjust to steps 1-10, and I was already on to steps 59-65.  There was never any planned time to ‘prepare and get used to the idea’ in my action plans.

I also discovered that some people were upset with me because they had difficulty explaining their point of view to me.  I would look at things from an objective and logical standpoint and when they could not use logic to explain, they got frustrated and upset with me because I would keep “poking” at their story.  The truth was, I was just trying to make sense of it logically.  Why didn’t they just say that they were basing their opinion on emotions for frak’s sake, because *that* was the truth.

These two items – speed, and emotions were the answer to being a people-person for me.  Let me explain further.

This life lesson that I actually can be a people-person was from teaching fitness classes.  The goal, besides ensuring participants get a good, effective workout, is also to ensure your class numbers either stay the same, or better yet, increase.  Early on, I realized, that the goal is all related to getting people in classes to enjoy the time, be happy, get a great workout, and tell others.  They needed to be attended to emotionally as well as physically.  They needed to be happy that they made the effort to come out and they had to feel as though they got something worthwhile.

So, now I’m connecting with people in a way that is focused on them and their needs – physical and emotional and NOT about my needs.  It’s so simple.  I realize I am very capable, willing, and able to be a people-person.  In fact, it can even be pretty darn easy sometimes.  All I need to do, is slow down, and focus on others’ needs, and I’m there.

Am I a reformed non-people-person?  Heck no – I still have moments when I go off the deep end being my blunt self focusing on speed and *my* need to get things done-chop-chop, however, now that I have this tool, I’m finding that I’m a much more balanced person and that’s good for the people around me, and it’s good for me too.

I’m so glad I learned this now and not another 10-20 years later.  I’ve got so many lessons to learn, and so little time.  Chop Chop, gotta get to the next lesson Daisy!

– Daisy

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Responses

  1. What a great post and lesson. I totally ‘get’ what you’re talking about. It took me a while to learn this too. Though my faster self wins – it’s good to take the time to be concerned with others’ needs, isn’t it?
    WC

    Absolutely and thanks! Now Chop-Chop and get your next post out, would you? I’m impatient, you know. – Daisy

  2. I always wish people would be blunter than they are. Life shouldn’t always be surgery. But I guess sometimes being blunt borders on bludgeoning, so perhaps I should bluntly tell myself that sometimes being blunt makes me an ass.

    Yes! It shouldn’t be surgery, but sometimes, it sure feels like I need to take out the prep kit before I even start on step 1. – Daisy

  3. […] new blog/blogger discovery. She’s thoughtful and provocative and I loved this post because it made me think while at the same time seeming oh so […]


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