Posted by: Daisy | August 27, 2008

Mr and Mrs Complaining

I had a hilarious chat with my father-in-law a few weeks ago while on vacation.  We were talking about men and women and their differences and he told me a gem that I thought was priceless.  He explained to me that when women complained and talked about a problem, they did not necessarily want a solution (which is what he tended to try to do).  In fact, the women may already have a solution to the problem they are relaying.  He said sometimes, they simply needed to be heard, get their thoughts and feelings out, and the only response then required was “there there, that must be terrible” or something to that effect. 

In essence, women want understanding, not solutions.

So, my beautiful hardwood floor just got scratched up about an hour ago by some piano movers.  No need for solutions, it has already been taken care of.  And, I don’t need a “there there” either.  I just thought this was timely – if I were embroiled in anger about it, then it would be a great example of a time when simply listening and empathizing is what would be appropriate and needed.

I’m not angry about the the floor.  I completely understand these things happen.  Besides, I’ve got other bigger fish to fry.

– Daisy

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