Posted by: Daisy | October 7, 2008

My self-esteem tank

“My self-esteem tank” is a bit too long to keep typing or saying aloud, so I’ll shorten it to simply “my gas tank” for the rest of this post.

If you think about self-esteem and what your perceptions of yourself are, I think it would be safe to say there are days, weeks, months, maybe even years when it is a little better than others.  Mine has its ups and downs, and what I find is that if my tank has not been filled up in a while, I begin to doubt myself.  I think my tank is pretty full to begin with, however, when you’re going on long hauls, it’s always good to get a little reassurance from others that, yes, you are who you think you are, and gosh, that person is pretty neat and cool.

Very recently, I felt my tank get drained by 1 person in particular, and then a few more followed after that.  I guess having the one-two-three hit didn’t help, and I realized as my tank begins to drain and get closer to the bottom, the speed with which it can get drained accelerates.  The trigger was this horrid person who made me defensive and feel horrible about myself.  The worst thing was, this person had no idea who I was and I’m mad at myself for allowing some fool to make me feel bad about me.

If we’re surrounded by people who drain our tanks, we’ll start to believe all the ridiculous things they may say about ourselves – things like that we’re not good enough, or we’re not doing it the right way – perhaps we’re just not doing it their way.  With these folks, our tanks will forever be lighting up on near-empty and we’ll never feel good enough.  I don’t know about you, but I need to surround myself with people who fill my tank, as I try to fill theirs, and we’ll help each other keep it full, so that if we’re on that long haul, we can make it because we believe in ourselves.  I’d rather show people I care about, that they are right, and I can.  That’s way more interesting than showing people I don’t like, that they can get my goat.

I see the value in others filling my tank, so I better get busy filling others.  Does your tank need to runneth over?  🙂

– Daisy



  1. Hey D,
    I’m am so with you on this. And have had recent experience, as well. It’s not a pretty thing when you get one of these life suckers in your life, feeding off you. It can be very draining and debilitating. And too, you’re right, surround yourself with the tank fillers and be one too – it’s the only way to live. Let the sniffling sycophants find fuel elsewhere.

    I was THIS tempted to pull out a dictionary to look up your words! Instead, I figure, oh whatever – I get the meaning. Thank you for your words, and we’ll just keep filling tanks and surrounding ourselves with similar folk, yes? 🙂 Daisy

  2. It all starts with that first one that drains us. Then it’s followed by more as we keep thinking about how that person drained us. Actually, it’s worse when it’s family. Limit the time you spend with people that drain you, spend more time with people that lift you up and encourage you to follow your dreams. That in itself will build self-esteem that nobody can take away from you. You’ll likely find that those energy suckers won’t find you because you’re on a completely different playing field – you’re not playing their game.

    Thanks for the visit, and you’re absolutely right. Some people (like family) can be a little difficult to lose though since they seem to know where you live.. ha ha. It’s true though – I have been fortunate enough that I have not run into many energy suckers lately, however, I suppose once in a while, the circumstances are there and whammo – this time it hit me one-two-three. I’ll get over it! 🙂 – Daisy

  3. I gave up my job nearly a year ago because I was ill. It wasn’t until some time after I had left that the penny dropped it was the job and the people I was working with that were as you put it, were draining my tank.

    You are so right.

    I’m such a happier person now that there are far fewer drainers in my life and lots more fillers. And the drainers who are left – I try to limit their time. Thanks for the visit! – Daisy

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