Posted by: Daisy | December 22, 2008


I find that as I grow older (oh gosh), I am realizing the importance something I will call ‘connectedness’.  Wait a second, that word is way too long to keep typing.

I don’t want to use friends and family because that is not inclusive enough, and I don’t want to say acqaintances because the connotation there is not right – it’s too stranger-like.  The idea is that there are groups of people in your life that share certain aspects of your life and they can be connected to you in different ways.  There is breadth and depth in connectedness and some people know you both in breadth and depth, while others only one or the other.

Many times, I’ve thought of how I may seem like a chameleon of sorts being a different person in different situations.  I’m not lying about who I am, but sometimes, to those who know me in only certain contexts don’t realize the rest of me.  Remember how I wrote a while back that I’m an onion with layers just like an Ogre?  I think that the connections, no matter where they happen, or on what level are just as valuable and dear as any other.  We’re connected in our journeys which have crossed paths and sometimes, they give us the strength we need.

When we’re struggling, we rely on our networks – I suppose most people would call that our friends and family and those we trust to help us stay grounded, and help us through our difficulties.  However, there are others.  I remember in University, I joined a few groups for causes I believed in.  What I found was the groups were far more than simpy being united and delivering a message to politicians or the masses, or whoever the audience was for – it was a place for me to be nurtured and feel like I belonged.  I won’t go so far as to say cult-like, however, others have I’m sure, gone that route.  For me, I felt that the groups were a place to feel at peace with my opinions and thoughts and be more than one of a few hundred students in a class.  It helped me make sense of me.

Groups of like-minded people helped me to better define who I am and who I am not.  However, even more importantly having these connections allowed me to have a network of people through thick and thin, on the subject matters and things that mattered to me.  Remember how you’ve got certain friends who are good for partying with, some are good at listening, others are great reliable folks who help you get out of trouble and so on?  I think that when you look beyond friends – there are also those acquaintances (though I don’t like that word at all) who can help you get through times, places and things in ways that no friend ever could have.  It is almost their lack of knowledge on the depth or breadth of who you are, is the saving quality that helps show you the way…

Am I making any sense, or should I get the guys with white jackets?

– Daisy



  1. That’s why family is so important, and people who move away from home really struggle until they find a replacement network. That’s what church is for me, but I guess it could just as easily be the bingo club. 🙂

    For some, family is not the ideal network for whatever reason, and finding it in things like that bingo club really could be the answer. I struggle with one particular relm of clubs which will remain un-named because they prey on people needing a network and I have come to understand the draw for them is not in the ‘why’ they are gathering, but in the ‘feel’ of the gathering – a supportive group of people. No I’m not talking about religion! 😉 Maybe another day, I’ll write more about these groups. – Daisy

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