Posted by: Daisy | January 5, 2009

Richer than you think

I don’t like to read news because it seems to be full of the bad stuff.  So, it was with sadness that I read this article about a Quebec family’s murder/suicide pact.  Though no one knows for sure the reason(s) why the parents decided to murder their 3 children and then commit suicide, both had recently lost their jobs.

Wow.  What’s the worst thing that can happen if both working parents lose their jobs?  No, really.  Let’s go down that path.  What is really the worst thing that could happen?  I can think of many options which although are not ideal, are still well worth it.  My mother reminds me that I don’t have the slush fund (extra money) that she’d like me to have.  She reminds me why I need to save money for a rainy day and she’s telling me that this might be a rainy year or two though I think that’s extremely pessimistic!  Although it is true I don’t have as much extra as I’d like, I’m also certainly not poor.  If push comes to shove, I can find ways to turn assets into cash.  I’ve tried to tell her that I’m richer than she thinks.  Rich in memories and rich in life, and although I may not have the cash on hand that would make her feel more comfortable, I know the truth is no amount of cash would really make her feel absolutely confident.  It is who she is.

When the economy sucks, and the days look grim, even if you lose absolutely everything, I know in my heart, it doesn’t ultimately matter.  Sure enough, I’ll freak out for a while, but once that passes, I know that possessions are material things that we need to learn to be able to part with.  Should I happen to find myself in a situation where I lose absolutely everything… well, I’m there because I know I can perservere and find a way to rebuild it all again.  Afterall, what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger, right?

If I were a praying type, I’d be saying prayers for the woman who must be grieving and dealing with the most difficult personal trauma she’ll likely ever face…

– Daisy

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Responses

  1. Oh my goodness. How very sad. I can’t even wrap my head around that. I don’t like to read the news either, and that story just confirms that. People do unbelievable things when their lives are turned upside down, and it is hard to imagine what could turn someone’s thoughts to such a ghastly solution. **sigh**

    I think the really sad part is that what could have possibly made TWO people’s thoughts turn to such desparation. You’d hope one would talk the other out of it, or better yet, both get some help from friends and family – Daisy

  2. Having lost my job to redundancy just before Christmas I have had to contemplate a lot of what you talk about in your post. There is no denying it is a scary prospect, especially when you have a family to support, but you are quite correct in your conclusion. How bad can it actually get?

    Those who choose suicide are obviously not as lucky as us to be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As to how bad it must be to end your child’s life as well, I simply cannot imagine.

    Keep up the good work Daisy, you’re like a breath of fresh air. 🙂

    Wow Jono – I can’t tell you how much that last line means to me – sometimes, you just don’t know if you’re just writing away blabbering on about whatever’s on your mind, or if what you write actually means anything to anyone else! Thank you for that!
    As for supporting a family while without an income – we’ll I’ve been there and done that. In fact, my hubby had been looking for a while, while my sole income supported the family, and now he’s the one supporting us while I look for work. The reality is that unemployment is something every employee should expect to face multiple times in their careers now. That’s just the way we work now! Good luck in your search and don’t forget to keep your chin up!
    – Daisy

  3. I am like your mother in with respect to the rainy day fund, yet due to some of the choices we have made, we were pushing our limits before the whole financial crisis. Thankfully we are both in jobs likely to be relatively unaffected by the economy, but it does still limit ones choices.
    I can not think of any situation that I could get in to where I would choose to end the lives of my children.
    People talk of hard times, and no jobs, but there are jobs. Maybe not the job you want, or paying what you want, or located where you want … but it is never bad enough to do that to your family!
    I know I sound like I have no empathy, but never EVER is it that bad!

    I agree that it is never that bad. I think I have to disagree a little on the job situation though. Yes, there are likely jobs that are less than ideal and therefore, it’s an employer’s marketplace – that means they end up with very well-qualified candidates for a very low price. That means anyone who’s trying to do a transition is in an even tougher situation. That means anyone who’s previous experience is in an industry/area that is in decline has a tougher time getting the roles they are qualified for. And if overqualified, some employers are a little uneasy hiring because they are afraid they will leave at the first chance. Am I speaking on both sides of the fence now? Sorry, but the job situation is tough, and yes, people have to look at roles that are less than ideal in areas that are less than ideal. – Daisy


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