Posted by: Daisy | February 9, 2009

Hard to say goodbye

With every subsequent funeral, I can not help but think of all the previous funerals before. In addition to the immediate family grieving, I think of my own selfish needs and wants including whether I’ve got all my paperwork in place should today be my last. I wonder how my friends and family will grieve me. I wonder how the young ones will take it and if they’ll understand. I count my blessings knowing that this time, This Time Was Not My Time. I’m not the one they are grieving for. I’m not the one who’s lost a close loved one. I’m not the one fast forwarding to the future thinking of events that they will never be witness to.

I know that one day, some day, it will be my turn. Whether I’m the one in the coffin, or the one grieving – that day, unfortunately will come. We have no choice but to live each day celebrating our time together at this very moment. Freeze each moment, each memory and each day so that when that fateful day comes, we’ll be overflowing with good memories. We can not determine how long we live, but we can choose to live it to the fullest.




  1. Beautifully put, Daisy. I’ve thought about this very thing on occasion too. I often think it must be harder for those who are left behind, because whatever it is that the deceased moves on to, whether it be oblivion or heaven or something else, it must be a lot more desireable than the grief that’s left in their wake.

    Yes, it’s tough to be the one grieving… I assume if you’re dead, then you’re just either not aware, or moving on to new experiences which in a way can be quite exciting. Sometimes, I think it might be easier to go sooner to avoid all the grief but then again, I’d miss out on SO much and that wouldn’t be good. So.. I suppose I’ll just go when I go. – Daisy

  2. It’s only when we lose someone it brings home to us that we are not going to be around for ever and things that seem important are shown not to be. But I find we soon forget this lesson once the hum-drum of daily life takes over again

    Yes, the trick is not letting the ‘hum-drum of daily life’ take over – let it become the ‘beauty of daily life’ so that you simply live every moment. I love how you add “Be happy” at the end of every post. I think that is a constant reminder that makes me smile. – Daisy

  3. Hi Daisy – Well put. I’ve been the one grieving and it’s terribly heartbreaking. Your words of wisdom are spot on – “Freeze each moment, each memory and each day so that when that fateful day comes….” THAT is very important to remember.

    And….take lots of pictures. When a loved one is gone, often all we left are photos. They become priceless.

    Barbara – I’m sorry for your loss. You’re absolutely right about the priceless photos and I’ll add the priceless videos too. – Daisy

  4. Daisy – Thank you for sharing your thoughts about grief. I lost my dad when I was sixteen and I thought I would never survive that grief, but I did. My grief helped me to fully understand the meaning of “life goes on.” There’s something so affirming in that phrase.

    Sara, Thank you for the visit and sharing your loss. I can not begin to imagine how difficult that must have been for you. Life does go on, and you choose how you wish to live it going forward. Here’s to living today and every day. – Daisy

  5. I saw a talk by Benjamin Zander, and he used a young Cellist to demonstrate many of his key points. At the end of the presentation, the lad received a standing ovation. Ben interrupted to say that you know “they are not clapping for you”. He went on to explain they are clapping to thank him for taking them to a place with his beautiful music that they would have been otherwise unable to find. I think funerals are a little like that … they help to remind the living of the graces they have, and the places they have yet to find.

    The vid of BZ can be found @ PopTech.

    Welcome back Gerry, and thanks for that. Yes, I think funerals have a way of reminding us of a lot of things, and although I think we can be reminded without going to a funeral, once there, we really have no choice but to be reminded. I haven’t seen the entire video (30 minutes?!!) but I liked what he said about the two sales people and selling shoes. – Daisy

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