Posted by: Daisy | October 28, 2009

Dreaded Beauty

Horizon filled to the brim with water
Sounds of waves enter my ears
Cooling mist on my face
Sun-warmed sand under my toes

Others are mesmerized by the beauty
Of toes and ankles cooled
While I deep-breathe to control
The roar of my heart

I’ve been here before
I’ve walked away before
I’ve run away before
From the dreaded beautiful world

Repeated mantras and processes
Designed to calm are useless
It’s everyone’s dream
Yet it’s my horror

There’s a screaming silence
From somewhere within
A feeling I can not control
As it overwhelms me head to toe

Objectively, I get it
Subjectively, I need to disappear
Take me away from my fears
Snap the uncertainty away

I know I am capable
Of looking fear in the eye
And laughing my way through the water
But not today.

Daisy

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Responses

  1. What a powerful poem! I could almost feel the fear. You have beautifully captured the way a lot of us feel toward our fears. I especially liked “It’s everyone’s dream
    Yet it’s my horror.” Well said. We all feel very alone in our fears/

    Yeah, and it is only when we talk about them with others that we realize we are all in the same boat… we really aren’t alone in anything we do as many others have been there and done that too. – Daisy

  2. This was sent to me in an email in response to my post, and I thought it was so powerful, I should share it.

    “It makes me think:

    of the ocean,
    of swimming,
    of choices made,
    of losing control,
    of drowning,
    of panic,
    of being overcome,
    of being washed ashore,
    of feeling the light,
    of noticing the sunbathers,
    of wondering how they can be so happy,
    of feeling grateful for being alive.”

  3. Very profound…the fact that you wrote about your fear, the way you wrote about it…you attacked it by facing it. For me, courage is facing what your afraid to do. A lot of people see courageous acts as being this monumental collosal thing that is news or television worthy…I think the real tests are much quieter, it’s a noisy scilence within us that tells us to stand up to our fears when one is looking, or stand alone when your misunderstood. That’s courage.
    I see that in there…

    Thanks Barbra – I agree that it is usually the ‘quieter’ ones that are far more interesting. And FYI, what I wrote about is not my fear per se, it’s just my creative license to write in a way that I hope others can relate to. – Daisy


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