Posted by: Daisy | August 14, 2010

Vacation: Wednesday

Life has a funny way of running away from you. In some respects, it feels as though I’ve lost a few years off my life as I’ve struggled through 2008, 2009 and 2010. Without mincing words, they have been the most difficult years so far. I remember thinking on New Year’s as we switched from 08 to 09, that 09 just couldn’t be any worst than 08. Thankfully, it wasn’t; however, it certainly was not a fanfare year either. Now, past midway through 2010, it too is shaping up strangely. If I think of life as similar to the stock markets, I wonder whether they’ll ever come back to those wonderful hey-days of yester-years when I invested and watched my money grow or is it bound to prove I might be more ahead if I shoved the money into something “guaranteed” like GICs instead.
Each year has had its highlights and lowlights, however, the ongoing theme throughout all of them has been the high stress level for various reasons. It is never one thing or another; its multiple things thrown in together that make my head spin just a touch. I wish it would spin just a touch slower for an entire year (or two) please; I’m feeling a bit sick from the speed to be honest.
I have had moments when I considered praying to something heavenly for guidance and strength and then I just turn around and laugh at myself for turning to a God-like figure when I’ve never really believed. This is not the space or place, however suffice it to say, some days, I just don’t get it, and we’re only talking about my life, nevermind the what’s, where’s and how’s of everyone else’s.
Before you get the impression I’ve completely lost it, it’s time for a little context. I’m on holidays for 2 weeks, and I’m far, far away from phones, televisions and internet. I’m enjoying beaches, water, sand, wine and books. My days are unstructured and there’s nothing I need to do or get done on any day at all. There are no goals and no requirements. It’s a stunning way to spend time. It also allows me to de-stress completely, and gives me the opportunity to reflect on the stuff of life.
Who am I? Where have I been? What’s important to me? Where do I want to go?
Some people never ask themselves these questions. I live off these questions. Answering them, directs my course on life. I’m a freak that way. The only problem is, I seem unable to answer these questions lately. Perhaps someone should give me a road map and some light so I can see? …and on the millionth day, there was a map.

– Daisy

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Responses

  1. Know just how you feel Daisy, and it’s not just you everyone seems to be feeling the same

    Am I *that* out of it? Please don’t answer that one. I am only realizing now you’ve changed your blog name – Daisy

  2. I think Ron Sexsmith has an answer 🙂

    *All in Good Time *
    It all seems so obvious now
    When I look back over my life
    There were times that I really felt down
    To think it passed me by

    But in these hours of serious doubt
    Through the coal black lonely night
    Something told me, “it’ll work out”
    Something deep inside
    Was comforting me

    All in good time
    All in good time
    It said all in good time
    The bad times will be gone

    “Hold your horses”, a willow tree cried
    While the sun called to me, “where’s the fire?”
    “Run your course my feverish child,”
    Came a voice from even higher
    Inspiring me

    All in good time
    All in good time
    It said all in good time
    The bad time will be gone

    – Cool, thanks. The interesting thing is if you don’t particularly love it (what you’re thinking/feeling), just wait, and it’ll change, just like the weather. – Daisy


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