Posted by: Daisy | October 26, 2010

All the single ladies

This one’s for you LOM. You asked for it! 😉

Way back when… okay, not that long ago, but earlier this summer, I jotted down some posts that I never had a chance to write inspired by a weekend away with some ladies. One of them was:
b) Weddings, babies, and how single girls think of this pipe dream.

For background, I was hanging out with some ladies who are younger than me. Okay, fine, I was the oldest one there, and the only one with a kid to boot. They saw my life, or others like it, as the pipe dream. They want the house, the furniture, the cars, the husband, and the kid(s). I smiled and listened to their dreams. That’s so not like me to shut up and listen.

[So you know that in order to make this post interesting, I have to make it sound like they all unanimously believed in the pipe dream which of course is not true. There was animated discussion including talking about friends of a friend who thought x. For the purposes of laughter, I have to tell it like they were all agreed.]

It seems they consider “the wedding” as the end all and be all of life. It seems “having babies” is also the logical next step sometime after the wedding. And then they live happily ever after. These women, I have a lot of respect for – they are intelligent and accomplished and professionals in their own rights. And by association, their friends must also not be dimwits and ignorant folk either. So, just why did these grown women whine at their inability to find that special someone in a neat and tidy package?

So perhaps I was leading the witness when I asked “describe for me that special someone you’re looking for” and I heard some really quite funny descriptions. It’s like they came out of a hallmark card or something. Ladies, get real for a moment. Seriously. Forget the neat and tidy package. And while you’re at it, don’t even think tall, dark and handsome as a requirement… I’d like you to consider that sometimes, the special someone comes with pre-packaged kids, an ex-wife, and a crazy extended family from hell. Sometimes, they might even come with a lot of debt, or a drinking problem. [NO?!!!] A police record? We all have our “quirks”, and none of us really are packaged up that neat and tidy, so why believe in the existence of Prince Charming?

For a brief moment, I thought I must have died and gone back to high school looking for Mr. tall, dark and handsome, but was whipped back to reality when I realized some of them were dead serious. FANTASY, darling, you want FANTASY ISLAND. Oh wait, you’re too young for that.

I didn’t know what to say entirely. I probably could have a said a whole bunch of things. I probably could have laughed too. My inside voice said loudly “good luck with that”. I don’t remember what my outside voice said. Anyone who’s been there and done that, knows how difficult couple-dom can be – that it’s work in progress all of the time. They also know the introduction of kids is an additional element that can stress lesser unions. When I hear of silliness like looking for someone with a sense of humour, likes movies, and is tall dark and handsome, then I think it’s time to grow up and out of high school. I suppose I was seriously leading the witness, wasn’t I?

The single ladies need to know that marriage and kids is not the goal. Simply living life happily should be the goal no matter what your marital and/or familial status.

– Daisy

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Responses

  1. oh I loved this post, it’s so true, it is amusing to us old married women to listen to them. My second marriage (the one I am in now) was to a man with kids, a mad ex, and debt, ahh the dream

    Are you planning a third? Just kidding – Daisy

    • Oh and he is far form tall dark and handsome, tall bald and round is more like it. But I love him

      So glad you liked the post LOM – and I learn new stuff about you all the time! 🙂 – Daisy

    • No I think two is quite enough haha

  2. What I want to know is, are we all going to get a post dedicated to each of us? 🙂

    Well aren’t you demanding? Background: LOM asked a few months ago. Maybe if you ask for a specific post, I’ll get around to it in the next few months? 🙂 – Daisy

    • That’s telling him Dasiy hahaha.

      Sorry jono

      • Haha, I have been put it in my place. No worries lom, you made me laugh. 🙂

        I guess someone has to.. 🙂

  3. Really enjoyed that. Thanks! Happiness matters in all matters.

    Hey, glad you enjoyed it. I truly had a fun time writing it, distortions and all – Daisy

  4. Well, I have the tall part. Wooohoooo I fit part of the dream.

    Woohoo.. you have the handsome part too – Wife


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