I was better off financially in the late 1990’s than I am today.  Just how that is possible, I still have trouble understanding.  I remember looking at my finances in the late 1990’s when I was on track to retire early in my late 50’s with lots of wiggle room and not too many worries.  Fast forward to today, and I have just returned from changing the amortization on my mortgage from 14 years, to now a whopping 34 years, just to get the weekly payments down to the minimum.  From late 1990’s to now, we’ve gone through multiple job losses, and now a receivership.  Rather than the steady increases I saw in my investments as well as my salary in the 1990’s, I have instead seen income fluctuate like bad handwriting.

I don’t know what to expect going forward, and I can’t bank on the past as an indication of the future.  This lack of stability has suddenly turned a moderate risk-taker into a much more risk-averse person who actually likes the idea and sound of being a “Lifer” at some company with a pension plan.  Is it just me or are others also tired of this roller-coaster ride?

All I want for Christmas is the winning lottery ticket and some financial stability.  Then I can make my own thrills and switch to the kiddie koaster when my stomach needs a break.

– Daisy

I have many reasons why I haven’t been posting.  And a very important reason why I’m posting today.  You will have to excuse my blathering as I have a lot of thoughts in my head and it may all come out in one big lump of poo.  Sorry in advance.  I promise once this one is done, the next ones will be a bit more coherent.

My employer on Friday, Dec 13, 2013 went into receivorship and over 600 employees suddenly found themselves unemployed.  My husband also works for this same company so we’re both unemployed.  People feel sorry for us – hell, I feel sorry for us too, but I’m sure it will all work out.  The last few days, I’ve suddenly “caught up” on those items – those PERSONAL items that have been neglected for oh so long.  It’s sad, but true.

#5 – Finally got a haircut!  Wow, I look younger.  Or maybe I just feel younger.

#4 – Decluttered various rooms – (OH MY THIS WAS A BIG TASK).  Family Room, Front closet, Linen closet, Basement toys, etc.

#3 – Called my water heater company about a letter they sent me Sept 1

#2 – Went to the bank to reset my pin (didn’t use my primary card for months!)

#1 – Called the company about my shares, from a letter they sent me back in January

 

Hubby did a few things too

#5 – Finally brought the patio furniture in – through all the snow

#4 – Fixed up the cupboard with the broken door

#3 – Cleared up the garage (so the patio furniture could find space)

#2 – Contacted the car company about the letter he got months and months ago

#1 – Is it possible he’s getting snow tires put on my car right now?  🙂

I’m determined to find my groove again and the fact that I can even write anything says that it’s not nearly as lost as it was only a mere 3 days ago.  In only a few short days, I’ve dramatically decluttered physically, and started to declutter mentally to the point where… I remember the Answer Starts With Me.

– Daisy

 

It started innocently enough. I asked Sheila at work, “hey Sheila, do you know if anyone’s interested in doing this run?”.  Sheila says, “I don’t know, but do you know what you should do?  Send out an email to the group because I’ll bet there’s someone else wondering the same thing.”

So I did.  Subject heading: “Are you up for the challenge” as I copied and pasted the details on a charity run to help end kids cancer.  I got a few bites, and soon we formed a team of 6 runners who would run a relay of 100kms.  Somehow I became Team Captain all while thinking “I just want to raise funds and participate, not Captain the team?”  But then, the team talked me into it, and made it sound like it would be a breeze.  I know better now. 🙂

Our biggest concern was whether we would be able to raise the minimum $500 per person, so we got down to business.  A short while later, we found ourselves in the unique position of being considered the fun and innovative team who got results.  You could say it was a bit of a perfect storm as soon after/during our awareness campaign, and with the help of senior management, awareness internally grew dramatically for this run.  From a youtube video, to our Coffee with Calvin (CEO) Event, we raised awareness, raised funds, and had fun doing it all.  We were the first internal team to reach our $500/person goal and it’s great to see that our teams together have already raised over $125,000 for charity.

Then you have special days like today where we are reminded why we’re running in the first place.

Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto is the best place for kids with cancer.  As one of the recipients of the funds, they wanted to recognize the Sears Great Canadian Run as donor of the week.  What an honour it was to have our team invited to visit Sick Kids to have our photo taken.  Plus, told us the story of bravery beads.  For the kids at Sick Kids, they get a bead for every time they have something done, whether it’s a needle prick, or more intense treatment.  The kids each end up creating unique and personal jewellery to tell a story of their brave journey.  For some kids, they have so many beads, that they carry it seperately.

Sick Kids gave us some lovely bracelets and necklaces made from bravery beads and I’m wearing a lovely one now.  I’m considering running with this necklace on, even though it’s heavier and will slow me down, but I feel that I need to be reminded constantly that b is for bravery and what better way than this necklace?  Afterall, the effort we’ve made over the past few months is truly a drop in the bucket compared to what the Sick Kids Families endure when facing a diagnosis of cancer.

It’s the least I can do.

The run is this Saturday.  I’m getting picked up at 5:30am.  I’ll try my best to be brave and run for the kids.  Be brave and help me raise awareness and funds.

– Daisy

P.S. Click here for the fun youtube video

Click here to find out more about my team, and/or to donate

No, it can’t be.  No way.  Not possible.  The summer could not have disappeared that quickly.

I had lunch with a friend from high school the other day.  It’s been decades.  I caught up with someone else from that nether region of schooling.  I mentioned to the young folks going to university that I’ve been out of school longer (or the same?) as I ever went to school for.  That shut them up. 🙂

Those schooling years will stay with you forever.  It has been decades and yet I still remember random “stuff” with great fondness and sometimes, with words that have a less positive connotation.  And with this knowledge, I’m in a bit of a panic mode as I realize my son is starting Grade 4 soon.  He’s 9 years old, and I wonder how the time flew so quickly.  I remember Grade 4.  Decades from now, is he still going to be friends with some of these same kids we’re seeing/talking about?  Is he going to meet up with them over lunch and laugh about the things they did in Grade 4?  Will they apologize to someone years later when they realize what they did wasn’t so nice?

I’m not sure if I want to remember it all with the clarity that Harry Potter does with the others’ memories, however, if someone invented a wand, with the ability to pull it out and store it, I just might endulge in capturing, and reviewing certain memories over again.  I don’t want to be young again.  I’d just like to slow down time a bit once in a while so I can smell the roses more.

– Daisy

I think it’s safe to say that I know a lot of beautiful, gorgeous, fit women.  As a fitness instructor, you can not help but see and know lots of people who others would kill to have their body and looks.  With that in mind, I am always appalled by the number and percent of beautiful women with so many self-esteem issues.  It seems like a never-ending cycle as some women are never quite happy with what they’ve got and are always striving to improve themselves.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about improving.. but this?  This is a bit much.

Maybe it’s because I’m like momma hen to my fellow instructors since I’m a decade or two older…. or maybe it’s because I grew up thinking I looked like crap, and needed to hone my other skills – I’m really not sure.  I only know that it behooves me to listen to gorgeous women say even two words about what body part, or body image they are not happy with.  Shut up Miss Universe, you look gorgeous and I think many others would agree with me. Just what’s the deal? Did someone say something to you? Did someone post a pic of you without makeup?  What?

Everyone knows about the gorgeous teen who relied on her looks, and never learned to use anything but her looks.  Perhaps Plain Jane may be a better alternative for the teen years to help an individual grow into a better adjusted adult who learns and acquire skills that will work later in life.  Look at Tyra Banks – I truly admire how she’s developed a fabulous business using her looks and celebrity status so that decades later, she’s still raking in the big bucks.  What are all her pretty model peers up to these days?

Can we not get over our book covers and understand that looks are fleeting, and not important?  The End.

Sigh. I know all the guys understand this.  They all have a friend, girlfriend, wife etc who they’ve been telling for years that they are stunning, and she just doesn’t get it.  I’d just like to take a timeout once in a while to slap her in the face and give her a reality check.  Maybe I could even slap the pretty out of them, so they can learn to rely on other skills.  How about it?  Shall we round up our pretty low self esteem friends tomorrow and slap them ugly?

– Daisy

P.S. Hi again.  I know it’s been a very long time.  I miss you too.  I won’t slap you though.  I promise.  (Unless you’re Miss Universe with low self esteem).  Then I may pull my hand back.

I’m cutting it close. I’m finally learning music for the classes I’m supposed to teach and never before have I left it this close. I have always known that I’m better under pressure, but the amazing thing is, although it has been stressful trying to squeeze the music and the choreography into my head, I’ve spent in total far less time learning it this time around than any other time before. I thought the last time I did this was cutting it close, but it seems that I haven’t quite gotten truly that close. Who’d have thunk?

Is it better to be 2-3 times more stressed but spend far less time learning, or is it better to be less stressed, but spending more than double or the triple the time? I guess that depends on your tolerance for time and stress and what the value of each is. Obviously, I’m pushing the envelope on stress over time, so its very possible I haven’t hit my stress limit yet and am preferring the stress pressure over the time one.

I can’t wait till next week and this will all be over and done with until the next quarter.

– Daisy

there’s a fork in the road
a literal fork and spoon
and you used to see the humour in that
though that laughter seems lost now

its another person’s life you’re living
and i’m so afraid you’ll find
at the end you will be successful
in achieving their daily misery

the path has so many choices
filled with much laughter
and tons of errors to make
why make theirs, when you can make your own?

somewhere along the way
you lost sight that this was the very thing
you desperately wanted to avoid
and i watch with dismay at your life dismissed

one day i hope you will notice
the forks and spoons are still everywhere
and i’m here if you wish
to begin to live your own life

– Daisy

I am probably one of the biggest age whiners around. To say that I have a problem with aging would be a minor understatement. At mid twenties, I thought a quarter century must be somewhat aged. Then thirty was a year long fiasco. And probably another year long fiasco for forty. I don’t care to think about the next plateau for the time being. My issues are my issues and they will only continue but with greater strength as I use the ol memory banks to recall all about the ways things used to be. However I am well aware that being stuck in what has been is likely the fastest way to grow old and become extinct like the dinosaurs. Instead I try my best to understand the world as is and accept that just about every single thing has changed.. everything except human nature of course.

I watch some of my peers who seem to struggle immensely with the fact that products and services are no longer like when we were younger… the fact that things aren’t made the same way anymore. No guff. The world is different and the faster we recognize that, the easier it is to change and/or adapt our behaviour to suit the new place we live in. Why rail against the masses unless you have intentions to bring it back and/or rally government to bring it back. If it is only to complain, then you may as well age yourself another few decades and be ready for extinction sooner rather than later.

I used to think my peers were those in my generation with similar experiences. I only realize now that my peers are no longer just my age – they grow and expand to include those generations that I never really understood before but am finding more and more of that common ground.

This must be aging.

I only wish I could do it with more grace.

– Daisy

I found this most amusing email from summer of last year.  It’s one of those notes that make you laugh, smile, and bring joy to 2012.  Thanks Michael for your lovely note, and I do apologize that I never replied, however, as I’m sure you’ll understand, I don’t fit your criteria.  🙂  If I ever need a cardiologist, I will for sure look you up.  Thanks once again for reaching out to me.  I hope you found what you were looking for in 2011.

 

P.S. I don’t believe for a second that the real Dr. Michael **** emailed me, but whoever is using his name, his status, and his life, has got to get credit for creativity.

 

Hello Daisy

Hello Daisy . how are you doing today, with hope you are doing good. Am Dr. michael *** by name i live in Canada Toronto where i have my own business, Due am just a new member to this site, but went through your profile and i really like to get to know more about you if that did not get you upset my dear …. am a 49years old man who have never been married before, but am hoping someday i will meet with that right woman to spend the rest of my life with….. but first i will like to be a friend if that is okay by you, then i can tell you more about myseif after you must have written back to me or you can as well add me up on your yahoo messager so we can chat because am always online even while working from my office.

If you must know am a Doctor of cardiologist i work with *****  hospital located at, ********  Toronto Ontario, *** *** Canada… so always feel free to ask me any question and i will get back to u dear.

Pls if you are married or have a boy friend i can not make you a friend of mine because i wanna talk to those whom are not married or dating someone, i like to be honest and i hate to lie so i want the same from people too……….here is my yahoo id…. *****@*****. or you can as well write to the same id and i will get back to you.

I must let you know that you have a very good looking pic here in your profile and i will love to hear from you sooner…… again always feel free to write to me and i will reply back to you.
Dr. Michael *****.

2011 has been one of those funny years.  It certainly hasn’t been one of the worst, but also, not one of the best.  I attribute much of the stress due to the ongoing and multi-year issues associated with the stuff that pays the bills.  It’s clear with the continuing tumbleweeds which keep growing here that I am unable to be what I once was – happier and much more relaxed.  However, it also amazes me that I haven’t quite given up.  I still have hope for 2012, and lots of it.  The way I see it, it just can only get better since there’s no way I can have another ill year with those kinds of stresses, right?  Don’t answer that please.  🙂

I am very hopeful for 2012.  One reason is that despite a less than stellar year, I discovered some pretty amazing things in 2011 including:

1. Photography lives in me and now I finally have the equipment to allow it to grow.  I am proud of the stuff that’s coming out, plus the speed with which the improvements are coming out.  I wow me every so often.
2. Photoshop is a tool that allows yet another creative side to flourish.  I don’t have any ability to use paint, nor charcoal, nor pencil, other than to scribble words on a napkin.  However, now with photoshop, I am able to create something that may have only existed in my head prior.  Its no longer locked away, but can now exist more concretely for all to see.
3. Technology amazes me.  I just got a new phone, and have been exposed to Swype (and love it).  It’s possible for someone who considers herself accepting of the speed with which things change, that for the first time, the speed of change in technology for 2011 actually took my breath away.  I must be at middle-age.

I know there’s tons more, and I had a much longer list earlier today, however, as the night grows later, and the boys are back in the house, there’s no way I can write anything remotely coherent so I may as well say adieu, until 2012.  Let’s hope there are fewer tumbleweeds in 2012, and more joy everywhere.  I hope you have a very happy new year.

– Daisy